Reading this quote had consumed my 8-minutes train ride to work a few days ago. Liked it so much I had to put it into this pic I took earlier yesterday. 

Those words, they send the chills to the bone. 

Often people are afraid to incorporate their soul into the vessel and live as what they are made, feel of what they want to and say of what they thought of because breaching the gap is considered as a weakness. Pride, ego, and the compulsory need to save face that the society, or we, have set and lived in for the longest of time is eating us bit by bit, day by day, just like a cancer. In the end, we are left with emptiness.

As the soul and vessel detach further from each other, we are no longer equipped with empathy and humanity. We are thirsty, suffocated. We are alone. It's a routined life. We have lost the ability to stand for our rights, to notice of what are happening in our surrounding and to a live a life full of challenges that we could look back and smile at later on. Finally, we will resort to things, and of course, money. We think we have it all, but actually...we are dead.

Vulnerability - it makes us feel human. We have to embrace it as an alive and life-long trait because imperfection is what we are. We are often and always be wounded, and sometimes destroyed, as Hemingway put it up nicely up there. At the event of us reaching our most vulnerable state of being wounded and destroyed, we realised that we are desperate for a help. We are no longer holding back our tears, we begin seeking for help, we prostrate to the Supreme Being, our egos and pride subsided. Realising that we are actually very, very weak and fragile, the emotions burst in and we can feel that our heart is running. Gratefulness, thankfulness, inspiration, energy, peace and care fill our heart - and finally, we are complete again. 

The cycle of human life.

I was flipping through the photos in my (old) phone and saw a photo of my grandma I took about two weeks ago. It reminded of me of the thing she said the other day.

Ok, my skill of writing a Kelantanese dialect speech (and speaking one) apparently sucks big time ;__;

Basically, every time we were to talk about the old times, she would retell me of the story over and over again. I always find it awkward to react to her story as she was telling it by looking deep into my eyes, as if it was something horrible she could not get over it forever. So I would just keep quite and listen to her and nodded.

But at the same time, I did imagine that I could have died that day and what would happen if I did:

However, I did not die.

I guess her story reminds me that I have escaped death twice. Escaped the second one 11 years later.

Up to the present day I could not unravel the mystery behind these occurrences but one thing I'm sure of, everything happens for a reason. I can't possibly find any word or action equally adequate to say how thankful I am for Allah has given me the third chance to live on His earth. He must have meant serious business here, as a disdained, lowly creation of Him who's still struggling to keep her heart so close to Him, I certainly did not deserve such a chance. And what's more, my flaws and weaknesses sometimes stray me away from Him and made me forget how fortunate of me to be alive today, to still have the time to correct myself and do all the good deeds that He deserve, while the time lasts.

Everyday is a new leaf and time is money. Get up and work towards the betterment. Let's be well-equipped for the Eternity.

May Allah accept.

Someone shared this on Facebook. It reminds me of Mitch Albom's Tuesdays With Morrie. I think everyone should read it.

An 87-Year-Old College Student Named Rose

The first day of school our professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know someone we didn't already know. I stood up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder. I turned round to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me with a smile that lit up her entire being.

She said, "Hi handsome. My name is Rose. I'm eighty-seven years old. Can I give you a hug?".

I laughed and enthusiastically responded, "Of course you may!" and she gave me a giant squeeze.

"Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?", I asked.

She jokingly replied, "I'm here to meet a rich husband, get married, and have a couple of kids...".

"No seriously", I asked. I was curious what may have motivated her to be taking on this challenge at her age.

"I always dreamed of having a college education and now I'm getting one!", she told me.

After class we walked to the student union building and shared a chocolate milkshake. We became instant friends. Every day for the next three months, we would leave class together and talk non-stop. I was always mesmerized listening to this "time machine" as she shared her wisdom and experience with me.

Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and she easily made friends wherever she went. She loved to dress up and she reveled in the attention bestowed upon her from the other students. She was living it up.

At the end of the semester we invited Rose to speak at our football banquet. I'll never forget what she taught us. She was introduced and stepped up to the podium.

As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her three by five cards on the floor. Frustrated and a little embarrassed she leaned into the microphone and simply said, "I'm sorry I'm so jittery. I gave up beer for Lent and this whiskey is killing me! I'll never get my speech back in order so let me just tell you what I know".

As we laughed she cleared her throat and began, "We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing. There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy, and achieving success. You have to laugh and find humor every day.

You've got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die.

We have so many people walking around who are dead and don't even know it! There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up.

If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don't do one productive thing, you will turn twenty years old.

If I am eighty-seven years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything I will turn eighty-eight.

Anybody can grow older. That doesn't take any talent or ability. The idea is to grow up by always finding opportunity in change.

Have no regrets.

The elderly usually don't have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those with regrets".

She concluded her speech by courageously singing "The Rose".

She challenged each of us to study the lyrics and live them out in our daily lives.

At the year's end Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those years ago. One week after graduation Rose died peacefully in her sleep.

Over two thousand college students attended her funeral in tribute to the wonderful woman who taught by example that it's never too late to be all you can possibly be.

These words have been passed along in loving memory of ROSE.

REMEMBER, GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY. GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL.

We make a Living by what we get, We make a Life by what we give.

Right? Me too.

I can never get enough of timelapses. It's awesome to see something we've never seen before, though they are happening all around us every day. Subhana Allah. Here's a good one for you:

Went to visit my oldies (mum's) last week. Healthy and happy they were. I was so glad to see them in such a shape. I was glad that I still have the chance to talk to them. The smiles on their face, they were priceless. And while I was there, I watched this cerekarama (Malay movie) on TV3, something about a son who despised his mum without knowing the actual story of why his mother abandoned him when he was a child. I didn't really pay any attention to it because it was boring, dull and too usual. Yeah sure, all of us have our own stories, our own secrets, I got that. Then I looked at my grandma and grandpa, a struck of thought hit my head - behind those crinkly, aged faces, what were the stories behind them? 

So I had this idea to talk to them about their pasts, which I was quite unsure of, as there were bits of stories told by my mum and aunties here and there - they were disorganised and I had a hard time connecting the storyline. We sat around the dining table having our late supper, and I interviewed my grandpa hehe. This happy-go-lucky jii-chan was born on 1940s, thus he got to experience the Japanese and British invasion. He had a sight-disabled mother named Zainab, a sister named Salmah and a step-father. According to him, he experienced a struggling life back then. Both his mother and sister were deceased due to Malaria plague, which was very hard to cure during those years. Though he had a hard life, he still went to school until Standard 6 or so. He became a begger at 16, and after his mother's death, he began to live on his own. 

He said he used to walked for miles just to get a job. Along the journey before he found a job, bringing a small pot with him, he fed himself by begging for food from the villagers. He then worked as a labour at a military base, under British reign. The British officials treated him well, because my grandpa was a hard worker. After working for the military, he worked with JKR (Public Works Department), until he retired. He was an active person too. He joined body-building championship, plays, sports, and others. 

My grandma on the other hand, had her own story. She had a difficult life too. My late great grandma was a hawker - well, without a stall. She dwelt in the town selling legumes and others. My grandma helped her with that. She was a brilliant student at school. She entered an Islamic school and was able to recite and understood Quran very well, she even taught other students (she is still good at it until now). 

Now, this is the interesting part - she married my grandpa without even knowing who he was. My grandpa's uncle was the match-maker. He urged my grandpa, who originated from Kuala Lumpur, to move to Besut, Terengganu to marry my grandma. After some months being persuaded, he decided to finally move there. They got married, but both of them were still struggling to live.

My grandpa told me that he had to do so many jobs to feed his family - washing the dishes, laundry other people's clothes and iron them, rubber-tapping, etc. etc. until he got to work with JKR. My grandma rented a warong and started her own business. Her children helped her at her warong. When my mum was born (she was the third among her seven siblings), the mid-wife opted to adopt my mum, but my grandma strongly refused to do so. She said to me, even how hard her life might be, she would never ever give her children to other people. Though their life was hard, they sent all of their children to school, because they believed education was extremely important.

From left: 1) My grandpa, my grandpa's kins, & my grandma; 2) Me, aunt (6th), my mum, grandma, aunt (5th), & le cousin at my back; 3) Me & my grandma

Listening to their stories made me realised that I was living a far more comfortable life than they were as a child. Alhamdulillah. Even now, there are many more out there who don't even get a chance to go to school, what more to enter a university. They don't even get proper water and food supply, an Internet access, or a house to live in. Masya Allah, at times I valued these for nothing. Thank you for the reminders, grandpa and grandma. Thank you for your willingness to share your life experiences. Such great inspirations. I hope I can be as strong and determined to live as both of you too. Insya Allah.

An amazing flower timelapse by Katka Pruskova, a professional photographer from Czech Republic. To create this video, she took more than 7100 photos in more than 730 hours.

"The world is pretty and everyone should be quite and enjoy it" - a first grader

I know I was away for quite sometime. I must admit I rarely update anything over here. I tend to spend my holiday doing normal stuffs, such as watching TV, reading a little bit of this and that, socialising with the family members and else. I did thought of certain topics to blog about, because pretty interesting events did occur throughout this holiday, but I found them very hard to be written here. The conclusion is, I'm lazy. Heee.

*****

Today is Maulidur Rasul right? Thus I've decided to fill in the blank blog page. Bersyukur sangat sebab Allah S.W.T. masih panjangkan umur dapat sambut hari kelahiran Nabi S.A.W. sekali lagi. Bersyukur sebab Allah pilih kita semua tergolong sebagai umat Muhammad S.A.W., umat akhir zaman, umat yang paling senang dapat masuk syurga sebab hidup dalam zaman penuh fitnah, buat kebaikan sikit, banyak ganjaran Allah bagi. Ada iman sekecil zarah dalam hati, Allah bagi masuk syurga dengan izin-Nya. Masya Allah. Sangat bertuah jadi umat Rasulullah S.A.W, sangat beruntung.

Our Prophet Muhammad S.A.W. has done so many things for us, for Islam, since his first hijra from Mecca to Medina, spreading our faith of Islam until it became what it is today. Biarpun dicaci, dimaki, dilempar najis, diludah, Baginda tetap sabar menghadapi semua itu, semata-mata untuk memikul tanggungjawab Baginda sebagai seorang Rasulullah, Utusan Allah yang terakhir. Ya Allah, betapa beratnya tanggungjawab Baginda, betapa besarnya pengorbanan Baginda terhadap kita semua. Siang malam Baginda menangis apabila fikirkan umat Baginda, siang malam Baginda berdoa, bertahajjud kepada Allah S.W.T. sampai bengkak-bengkak kaki Baginda, agar Allah ampunkan dosa umat Baginda sekalian alam. Kalau boleh, Baginda mahu kita semua masuk syurga Allah. Ya Allah, betapa sayangnya Rasulullah S.A.W. kepada kita semua!

Hari ini, 12 Rabiul Awal, marilah sama-sama kita semua menyambutnya dengan penuh keinsafan. Rasullullah S.A.W. tak minta banyak pun daripada kita. Rasulullah S.A.W. bersabda dalam khutbah Baginda yang terakhir, "Sesungguhnya aku tinggalkan kepada kamu dua perkara yang sekiranya kamu berpegang teguh dan mengikuti kedua-duanya, nescaya kamu tidak akan tersesat selama-lamanya. Itulah Al-Quran dan Sunnahku". Cara nak sambut Maulidur Rasul ada banyak. Antaranya:

Semoga hari ini akan jadi lebih baik daripada semalam untuk kita semua :)

Assalam and good evening everyone! 

So how are you doing peeps? Well? Alhamdulillah :). Mine is the other way around. Too much pressure and workloads for the past 2 weeks. Time constraint adds even more to the self-suffering. This is a usual scenario happening to university students when the final exam is around the corner (2 weeks more to go, can you believe it?!).

Lecturers begin to wrap up their teaching activities, making all presentations, tests and quizzes to be done as fast as they can. If I could have prepared myself for the worst of time (by means of finishing my assignments earlier, providing better attention span during lecture hours, reading all those bulky notes since the beginning of the semester), only then I could use the remaining days of the semester enjoying myself watching those movies and doing a little bit of blogging!  :/

Now, even the slightest regret doesn't mean anything. All I could ever do is struggle in the mud till the end. Allah, may you provide me the strength and confidence, since I seems to be lacking in those nowadays -___-

However, alhamdulillah, my health condition is nonetheless at its best condition during this moment thus providing me the will I am longing for in order for me to go through the hardship. I hope the same thing goes to you to my friends! :D

Till then, thanks for reading :)

I keep on thinking why I'm living such a depressed and boring life, without knowing the fact that I'm actually blessed. Blessed, because occasionally, throughout my life, I've been surrounded by ever-so talented people around me. My mum, she is an enthusiastic business woman. Even though making curry-puffs is the only thing she is skillful at doing, she put her 100% passion at it. She always put this smile of satisfaction on her tired, wrinkly face, that I always cherish whenever I am looking at one of those.

I have this friend, a blooming singer and guitarist, who is very keen on making her own art and never get tired of doing what she does best, every night and day. Behind her, I could see this shining, sparkling shadow of joy and triumph, a bright future she is heading to. The unseen confidence she is hiding inside herself - she need to have a stronger faith of her own, unique talent. If I can see it, why can't she? 

There is a guy, a potential photographer, who always has this very straight-forward, clear, serious visions in his life, which he is slowly able full-fill them one by one each day. Before this, he is just a casual photographer, only using a common gadget of RM500 or so to capture the best moments of his life. During this period, he always admire people who are better than him (in terms of gadgets and skills), but behind this admiration, he is determined to be one of them. And just so you know, recently he bought himself a DSLR worth RM3200. He did this by saving his salary for 5 months - he is a part-time tuition teacher. Could you imagine how on earth did he do that? Oh, what a satisfactory, victorious achievement! I was there all along this process, seeing his enthusiastic, shiny eyes; hearing those determined, eager voice of him whenever he talked about photography. I'm so proud of him. May he becomes a successful photographer in the near future :)

Another friend of mine, a writer, is full of thoughts and wisdoms in her life (well, sometimes she acted weird and blurry haha). People might think she is one of those nerds, the nobody, but people don't know, behind her baggy Pashmina (her favourite style of wearing the hijab nowadays) lies a successful writer, having her book sold all over those book-stores in town. Then there is also another guy of a skinny, bony figure, and with a glance, people might think he is a drug-addict or a drug-dealer something like that; but the truth is, he owns a printing shop by which he worked real hard for a few, struggling months for his dream to come true. How amazing they are, aren't they?

These people, they might not be as brilliant as Einstein, but they do something they are really good at, and they do this with continuous hard work, determination and dedication. If in any way your life is surrounded by people like them, be thankful and proud of yourself, because through them, you have gained the will of living and surviving the hard life of yours, for they are always be there as your daily source of inspiration. You have a wonderful life which others out there are dying to have. I'm blessed, same goes to you. Alhamdulillah :D

You are beautiful when you do not simply show your physical appearance to anyone, for your beauty is only for your husband to see, and him alone.

You are beautiful when you cover your aurah properly, as it shows how grateful you are on whatever perfection Allah S.W.T. lent to you. 

You are beautiful when you are kind to others, as a smile on their face is priceless.

You are beautiful when you love everybody around you despite their goods and bads, for they are the colours of your life.

You are beautiful when you rise again once you face a failure, for you have just motivate others to do the same. 

You may not see it but you are beautiful. Beautiful in your own way. So, rejoice your days ahead.