"And He gave you of all that you asked for, and if you count the Blessings of Allah, never will you be able to count them. Verily! Man is indeed an extreme wrong-doer, - a disbeliever (an extreme ingrate, denies Allah's Blessings by disbelief, and by worshiping others besides Allah, and by disobeying Allah and His Prophet Muhammad PBUH)." 

(Surah Ibrahim, 14:34)

Sunday, 1.12.2013, around 9.30 a.m., the translation of the very ayah was recited by the man at the podium. Among other surah, among other ayah, this very ayah was recited. It meant something, it had to mean something, especially when it was recited in front of more than 400 fresh graduates, dressed in their crisp robe, quirky hood, wearing the ever so famous black-coloured mortar board. We were all in a hall at Taman Tamadun Islam, Sidang Dua, attending UniSZA 5th Convocation Ceremony.

He did not really say much of the ayah, except for reciting it out loud (due to the time constraint I believe). I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself due to the sudden rush of panic attack for I would be the first person, of the first row, to receive the scroll in the morning - and I did not attend the rehearsal held three days before-hand. As I was settling down, I saw the ayah on the screen projected a few yards in front of me, then re-reading it a few times, trying to digest the meaning behind it. Well, it was more than the meaning, it was the reality I was trying to grasp. 

"What am I in this robe is doing here today?" 

"This scroll that I will be receiving, what will be of its use?"

It won't certainly going to be just a fancy paper only to be received after 4 years of study. To call it a hard-work masterpiece would certainly be an extreme hyperbole as too much procrastination, time-wasting, last-minute works of a quality lower than actually to be expected, late class attendances and countless absenteeisms were involved along the process. Nah, I was even one of the latest persons to show up this morning! My heart was filled with shame and disappointment. "Man is indeed an extreme wrong-doer." says the ayah. I was angry at myself. 

Helplessly, I sat there in silence, telling myself what a wonderful feeling it would be if I deserve today. How meaningful it would be if I could reverse the time and make my study years as fruitful as they should have been. How I wish I did not take for granted the time He had given me. How I wish I could really be thankful for the countless blessings of Allah!

"Semoga sijil ini tidak menghumban diriku ke neraka." - Dr. Ustaz Riduan Nor

Time passed, years gone, and only the future is left to be amended. With this scroll in my hand, the greatest most challenging question I am facing right now is, "How can I serve Allah?". 

Temporary world, my destination is still far ahead. And this is just a beginning. 

May Allah accept.

Juadah berbuka hari ini: ikan bawal kukus, kuih ondeh-ondeh, Nescafe segelas (wajib!), sayur campur dan nasik putih. Tak de lah grand sangat kan, tapi cukuplah untuk membuatkan aku happy sepanjang malam ni. Bagaimanapun, kita jangan mudah lupa, walau sesedap dan mengenyangkan mana sekali pun makanan yang kita makan tu, bukanlah makanan itu yang mengenyangkan kita, tapi sebaliknya, Allah S.W.T. lah yang berkuasa mengenyangkan kita. Setiap hari, kita kena sentiasa beriman teguh dengan kalimah "La ilaha illa Allah", dengan memasukkan kebesaran Allah S.W.T. ke dalam hati kita, dan mengeluarkan kebesaran makhluk (dalam konteks ini, makanan adalah makhluk) daripada hati kita.

Waktu ketika berbuka puasa memang bagi aku sangat special, sebab masa tu lah ahli keluarga aku dapat duduk satu meja, makan beramai-ramai. Lepas makan tu, sambil tersadai kekenyangan menghabiskan saki-baki Nescafe dalam gelas, kitorang akan mulakan sesi bersembang. Time ni, semua idea dan ilmu pengetahuan yang aku dapat melalui aktiviti pembacaan blog pada setiap hari, aku akan kongsikan dengan ahli keluarga aku, dan semua orang akan dengar dengan penuh khusyuk, lalu bergegarlah rumah, apabila masing-masing nak suarakan pendapat mereka. It's like having a big family gathering, padahal kami cuma 4 orang je (will be 6 in the last week of Ramadhan).

Manakala sebelum tu, kami dapat sama-sama buat riuh dekat makmal makanan (yeah, makmal makanan is dapur, sebab memasak bukan seperti hari-hari biasa, yang mana kita dapat merasa dengan lidah; memasak sebelum berbuka puasa hanya membolehkan kita mengagak kuantiti dan sukatan bahan dalam masakan kita tu, macam dalam makmal kimia lah, kita sukat bahan kimia tu, sebelum campur dengan benda lain). Mana nak alami suasana macam ni kat rumah aku pada bulan-bulan biasa. That's why Ramadhan is really a special and meaningful month for me. Moga hari-hari mendatang pada bulan yang penuh kemuliaan dan keberkatan ini akan menjadi lebih baik daripada hari ini.

Realiti: Adalah amat mengecewakan apabila kesemua kedai pisang goreng dan ais kacang di area Gong Badak pada hari ini terpaksa tutup awal (statistik pada pukul 5.20 petang tadi) akibat kehabisan stok jualan bahana diserbu oleh pelanggan semenjak pukul 3 tadi lagi.

Punca: Esok puasa.

Kesimpulan: Bersyukurlah bahawa Allah S.W.T. tidak mewajibkan hamba-hambaNya berpuasa sehari suntuk, kerana jika itu berlaku, pasti realiti hidup pada hari ini akan berubah. Sesungguhnya Dia Maha Mengetahui.

Ahlan Wasahlan Ya Ramadhan al-Mubarak